Friday, February 18, 2011

Hold It Against Me - Britney Spears review!

I guess this is the first time ever I dont really like Brit's artwork.. I must admit, I am a huge fan of hers.. I adored her talent and her creativity in creating wonderful music videos (even though 3 had always been my least favourite of hers(after Radar), but it sure stands up better than this crap).. Before I go any further, yes, I do realise that I'm about to get a fucking raining shit on me, but I reckon, its my blog and I shouldn't give a damn.. If your eyes had already felt like checking my profile on the topmost of this page so that you could screw me some other time for making a hideous remark for Britney, I really suggest you to stop reading and please, close your browser.. I'm not risking anything here.. I mean, after all those teasers and everything, we were all getting very excited on whats next for her, but honestly, this is a major disappointment.. For me, I don't really see Britney in this music video, neither the song.. Its like as if this whole thing was not even meant for her.. I cant afford to see Brit's falling down, again..

So, to get to the point, I'm sorry if I dont get the whole point of this music video.. The story line is unclear and I can't get anything from this other than seeing some weird scenes taking places one after another.. Yea, I guess the whole music video is weird and awkward.. I understand the concept of all those state-of-the-art techies stuffs going on, but I really don't get the actual reason Brit is there and what does she have to do with anything! It looks like as if she had no idea at all on what she was supposed to do and resulting in everything looking super weird.. 

Hey, better make a wish!
Well, the music video started showing a fireball thing which is a meteor, I supposed, went straight down to our lovely home, Earth in 2011.. Well, it blasted off in some urban city without any explosion but setting the whole city nearby with colourful streaks of light.. Yep, the first weird thing.. However, its not weird enough when we know that that fireball thingy had Britney Spears in it and landed in a freaking studio with these gadgets stuffs. Then, the people around her are busy putting make-ups on her while the other are preparing the camera and all for the shooting.. Yep, Britney fell from the sky to shoot a music video in a middle of nowhere.. I know, funny, right?

So, here she comes, from planet somewhere shooting music video with a bunch colourful haired guys still struggling with their clothings.. Still, I must admit, those striking and cheerful briefs are quite cute.. I'm soo getting one of em.. back to the thing, continue dancing with the guys, promote her perfume, and then, start dancing again, promote some cosmetic product, put on the coloured powder things that girls put on their eyelids, and dance again, blah, blah, blah.. For this first 58 seconds, the whole thing looks like a major TV commercial break.. Its like she was some cheap ad girl who promote several products at once.. I dont know bout her, but this is totally not working for me for a good first impression..

Look! Its a freaking Disney princess in a weird overflown white gown.. Obviously, she could not look anymore awkward than she is at this moment.. Come on, just look at her dress and those TVs around her.. Maybe it looks pretty normal for you, but besides from the bad make-up (or maybe its not her make-up, who knows), the things get weirder when she started to rose with her dress.. With the weird finger gloves with pipes and those rising up thingy, let me tell you, she looks awfully like an idiot.. I dont know if it was supposed to look that way, but this is all too embarrassing to watch.. Literally embarrassing.. I always had respected Britney in all way, but this time, I afraid, I'll just have to turn her down.. She just looks fucking awkward!

Well, while she was still rising in her dress with some loony eyeless dudes moving all around her, after the weird closeup on the word Sony at the monitor, and after another closeup of PlentyOfFish, Brit, in a silvery long sleeved shirt are browsing through PlentyOfFish looking at a gay Canadian bloke.. Another effing weirdness, I know.. Seriously, I dont get her, but up to this point, I guess I get more commercials than Britney that I almost wonder if it is even a music video or some stupid TV ads.. Just so you know, apart from the awkward moment of the perfume and PlentyOfFish, nothing prepare me for the extreme closeup of Sony across my monitor adding to the already bizarre stuffs going on..

Now, could anybody please tell me how pretty Britney looks right now.. With the mics all around her, I am still in deep problem trying to figure out the real meaning behind it all.. Maybe its too abstract, or maybe its just nothing! After a shot of an eyeball with two pupil (which was supposed to add a freaky sensation to the music video, but I just found it to be goofy..), she got back to the first scene, moving around the stage with the same dudes minus perfume and cosmetic product with her most pathetic dance moves I had ever seen.. I mean, she's not dancing Britney-wise.. Its more to a drunk Lindsay Lohan.. Besides, the scenes are moving too fast taking turn with this microphones scenes like super rapid, as if several frames are erased.. I'm not blaming anyone, but I guess, the editing is quite bad..

Weee!! I'm squirting colours!!

Look at the first picture, that must be the worst smile Britney could ever pasted on her face or i would hate her to death.. I just wished that the smile wasn't there.. Its spoiling everything.. Good news, after several playbacks, I think I got the main idea of this music video, but I still can't quite figure out the actual meaning.. Well, i reckon, Britney in this white dress and everything is her old self while the fag-looking her with the mic were supposed to be the new her.. But what I still seem to be confused about is the reason she's shooting these coulourful paints all over the old her.. Btw, just before that shooting scenes is another scene of the eyeless freak which is just exasperatingly ugly.. Hate those aliens!

Go Britney Go! Wait, which one is Britney?!
Then, Britney seems to be beating the guts off another Britney.. Another scene which seems to be rather more pointless than any of those before.. Well, one Britney looks a lot like the new Britney while I'm not pretty sure bout the other one since the old Britney are particularly still squirting out the effing paints from her fingers leaving me quite unsure to put it that the new Britney is struggling to kill her old self.. So, leaving me still cracking up my brain wondering what the fuck is actually going on.. Trust me, right now, Brit looks fucking ugly... As a matter of fact, I know a drag queen who looks much less drag than she is at that moment.. 

Apart from the disappointment from the beginning, the music video become more acceptable in the end.. Maybe because there's no more ads weirdness, or maybe its her outfit, but her dance moves start look more like her.. Bad introduction (and climax), but a descent ending.. Just to wrap up everything, this video is actually kinda gay for me.. I mean, whats not gay with hunky dudes with brightly coloured briefs and all those paints stuffs.. But still, who cares, right? Putting aside all the confusions, Britney really needs to step up and make some move.. If she keep it this way, she might just end up being a pepsi can.. Overall, this music video is kinda sad to watch and Brit sure do deserve something more than this..

1 comment:

  1. If you dont understand, she uses the success of the song to show her comeback:

    Start of her career - She hits the earth like a meteor

    Becoming a celebrity - She's all glammed up with make-up and perfume
    Rising popularity - She's rising as her old music videos surround her

    She falls in love - Guy on the Sony touch-screen TV

    Personal struggle - She's fighting with herself

    Breakdown/Meltdown - She collapses and ruins her wedding dress and past work

    Comeback - She comes back harder than ever!
    yay britney