Saturday, February 12, 2011

Love Story

First thing first, if you are already in the Tailor Swift mood, get out of it.. This is not even close.. However its still on love story.. My love story, to be precise.. Well, I never had actually share this shit to anybody else (of course we can make a few exceptions for some of my gossip mates, right?) but I guess theres nothing more to hide since high school is long over and I am practically going for adulthood.. So, why bother to keep teen stuffs.. Honestly, I never really celebrate this Valentines thing since I am a never-gonna-fall-for-it huge fan of the fantasy of love.. Yep, fantasy of love.. I respect the lovehood, but I never really appreciate the fantasy of love.. 

I dont actually remember this story to the whole thing (I have no reason to actually keep this on my mind) but I think I still can recall some few bites to be shared here... Just to get it straight, if the lady I mentioned here in this story happen to be reading this, maybe she needs to know that I have no intention of cyber bullying her.. This is the truth and the only ugly truth.. Im not gonna mention her name here but just in case she got something to argue, just put it in the comment section of this post or just keep it.. As i said before, Im not going to mention her name here, so, lets just put it Scarlett (to Adrian, she USED to be my Scarlett too.. Im not copying you, if thats what you're thinking right now).. 

Scarlett and I had been such a good friend from we're still in our first year at high school.. She was in the same class with me and we're like besties.. However, this 'love' story started when we're in form three during the evening prep.. I cant remember how it actually happened but somehow, at that particular moment, I found out that Scarlett was dating my best friend.. Honestly, at that time, I was soo not furious since I had never expected myself to be in a relationship with her but I am in total shock.. I know her very well that I am shocked to hear that she's dating my best friend.. Im not saying that she does not deserve any guy to be with but I was literally shocked when I heard how they actually became a couple.. They're in a bus on their way back home when my best friend asked her to become her special girlfriend and then 'presto!' they're a loving couple.. Its fast and simple and the only reason why it shocked me.. Eventhough I knew it just after a week (maybe?) they started to be the supposedly couple, that same evening, she told me that she loves me for like 3-4 times.. Then, she asked me if I felt the same for her (i know, its so unromantic for a lady to be the first to confess it, but seriously, as i said before, i have never had the intention to have any other relationship with her other than friends..).. She also told me that there's actually nothing going on between my bestfriend and her..Well, I can't really reject her since she was a beauty bitch and I might probably looks a lot more gayer than I already am if i do so.. So, I just told her that I felt the same for her.. Warning, I didn't say that I loved her at that time.. I just said 'I felt the same for you'.. Thats it.. period.

So, I went back to my room and start to figure it all out.. The reason why she said she loved me when she was just starting her relationship with a new dude.. And that new dude a.k.a. my best friend also happen to be my room mate.. So, I decided not to tell him anything bout what happened.. After the whole evening wondering everything about the incident, I thought that we're best friends for almost three years and MAYBE I do love her.. So, I decided that I love her.. However, later that night she sent me a note telling that she actually is in a relationship with Fabian (Im already tired of using the word 'my roommate', 'my bestfriend' or anything else all the time when I have to mention this particular bloke) and we can't really dating since shes already seeing someone else (that would made her more bitchier than she already was).. So, that night I was like a bit devastated to be dumped just right after I had decided to love her..

Well, for the sake that I wont create a fictional storyline here, I have to skip the part when how we actually dating because I can't remember it.. Hey, if Scarlett does, maybe she could just comment on this post just to let me know.. So, after some of the lost scenes, we officially became a 'loving' couple.. However, I cant recall for how long, but while Scarlett and me were in the boyfriend-girlfriend relationship, Fabian still wont let Scarlett go... It took quite a long while to convince Fabian that Scarlett was already mine..  I might sound a bit like a bitch, stealing my best friend's girl but I dont really felt like its a wrong deed since Scarlett told me that she actually didn't love Fabian at all.. Just so you know, while we're in the middle of this stuffs, Fabian and me we're still bestfriends.. We still hang out together, chatting and gossiping bout everything but still, we had stopped mentioning Scarlett in our conversation.. Sounds cool right? Whats the point of ending a relationship for a bitch..Lucky we didn't..

Most of the times, we would call or text each other non-stop like what all the lovers should behave like.. Both of us are a huge fan of Justin Timberlake.. So, of course, still like what normal couple do, we have our theme song.. Maybe sorts of the wedding song like, but since we're not getting married, its the couple song.. Its Until The End Of Time by Justin Timberlake.. That song is about lovers who can't get out of each other and blah blah blah love stuffs.. 
"If your love was all I have, in this life,
That would be enough, until the end of time,
So rest your weary heart, and relax your mind,
Cause I'm gonna love you girl, until the end of time"

Sounds fucking romantic right? yep, that fucking romantic.. So, we continued our relationship for the whole year until we're both in our form 4.. Well, there's this one time, she got me a present.. Its a keychain with my name on it.. Yea, you're right, thats soo totally idiotically unromantic.. A keychain? Come on.. Whatever it is, I thought I still need to repay her by giving her something she could keep.. Actually, as far as I can recall I never actually had bought her anything  except the bracelet and Anna Sui coin purse that I bought in Hong Kong.. And thats all I had ever bought for her (still, its better than a keychain, right?).. Oh, before I forgot, she also had started to dress a little bit more daring than how she used to.. When I first met her, she could be the most demure and feminine woman I had ever known.. But when we're in our form 4. or maybe late form 3, i cant recall, she started to dress up daringly than how she used to.. I dont know if maybe she had suddenly grow bigger but her shirts seems to shrink a few sizes.. More embarrassingly, most of the other blokes are always staring at her when she walk in.. Dont ask me what these dudes are looking at, you know it..

However, after some times we're not like how we used to be anymore; she sometimes avoided me and refused to talk to me.. And then some of her other loony friends started to attack me on stuffs that I dont understand and everything I never give a shit about.. Finally, I found out that she was seeing someone else.. Well, its a good thing that she didn't act whory to double date me.. But, still, it hurts a lot.. You know how some people always say how sucks love is, and this, feels no difference.. Its quite devastating to be dumped for someone else.. What I hate most is how it made me felt like such a pathetic looser.. I know, life goes on... And thats how Im going on - without her.. Then, after I moved to TGB, sometimes, she would ask for my forgiveness and keep denying the fact that she had cheated me.. Honestly, I had never fell for that.. Maybe it was stupid that I fall for her for the first time, but I'm not stupid enough to fall again.. Its one thing to make a mistake and another thing to keep repeating it.. I have no idea what had gotten into her that she tried to get me back while she was still dating that guy.. You know what she used to told me as an excuse, she claimed that (a) she never actually dumped me, (b) she's just letting me go earlier because she knew that I was moving to TGB so that it wont hurt that much when it happen, (c) it was all a mistake and (d) she never cheated on me.. And of course, I knew that was a pure pathetic lie.. Maybe she wanted to have several boyfriends in a time just to see how it would feels like being a bitch (well, shes unaware the fact that she already is a bitch.. How funny is that? lol) and put me as one of her victim.. Figure out; its not working.. As a matter of fact, she sent me a message on facebook earlier this year still seeking for forgiveness.. However, it ended up a huge facebook fight..

So, I did moved on - while still hating the whole guts of her - as if she never existed in my life.. Maybe I deserve that and maybe I dont.. Who cares, its boring.. Now you know, the story about my dead ex-girlfriend.. 


1 comment:

  1. shameel..

    your love story is interesting.
    i don't know why i'm laughing while reading this post.and of course i'm not laughing at you.
    for me, we should in love with someone once at least.if we get dumped, it was alright.
    just move on and find a new one.. :)